|Big Papa GT-R interior - 2000 horsepower from Switzer Peformance|
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEJo BorrasSwitzer Performance440.774.4219Oberlin, OH - 01APR2013 - 2000 HP Nitro-burning GTR from Switzer PerformanceNitromethane is pretty interesting stuff. When it’s mis-handled or inhaled, it can be extremely toxic – turning lips and skin blue as it displaces the oxygen in your veins. When it’s burned deep in the heart of an expertly blue-printed and balanced Switzer-built racing engine, however, nitromethane can be a wonderful thing.How wonderful? Try 2000 horsepower worth of wonderful, courtesy of a set of radical, specially-designed turbochargers that deliver more air without sacrificing efficiency. Those magic turbos push compressed air through wider-diameter tubing into specially CNC-machined heads, where the charged air is mixed with the toxic nitromethane before being ignited by carefully-executed, mini-lightning bolts timed and controlled by the most advanced engine management hardware available.It sounds like a blast to drive, but why would Switzer Performance (a company that’s become well-known for pushing clean-burning, bio-fuel street beasts) work so hard on a car that burns a toxic fuel like nitromethane? “Like any of our big builds,” explains Neil Switzer, “this one was driven by our customer’s needs, and built to his exacting specifications.”Who is the customer for this 2000+ hp monster? “Papa” Peyo Smurf.“We’ve been huge fans of his work since we were kids,” explains Neil. “Even though we’d seen all his movies, we had no idea his blue skin was a condition caused by exposure to nitromethane.”Usually, Switzer’s celebrity clients prefer to keep their builds quiet, but Papa Smurf turned out to be such a dedicated, high-horsepower gear-head that he even posed for a photo with his recently-delivered “Big Papa” GTR outside of Smurf village. “It just goes to show how much we didn’t know about Papa Smurf,” says Neil. “For example, I had no idea Smurf Village was a real place!”Papa Smurf will be debuting the “Big Papa” build later this season, and hopes to use the car to draw attention to Smurf Village and encourage new development. Smurf Village itself is less a real “village” and more “a progressive community that cherishes nature and encourages ‘organic’ architecture and micro-farming” located just outside of Mississauga, ON (according to the PR that the Smurf Village Chamber of Commerce sent over). While the area is best known for producing extraordinarily large mushrooms, Papa Smurf’s own garden is filled with deep blue “Smurf Berries”, which are specially-bred blueberries that Papa Smurf irrigates with nitromethane instead of water. “He sent us a bunch of Smurf Berries and even a pie,” explained Neil. “They taste exactly like blueberry moonshine, but they made me a little nauseous and I stopped eating them when my fingernails turned blue. I don’t know how Papa Smurf eats that stuff.”Travis Hill, Switzer’s resident Canadian and track-day performance specialist, offered his own theory regarding Papa Smurf’s seemingly iron-clad liver: “There’s not much to do in Canada during winter, except drink and play hockey or work on race cars. With Papa’s short legs he probably didn’t play much hockey.”Papa Smurf’s 2000 hp Switzer-built “Big Papa” GTR will debut at an as-yet undisclosed track event later this year, assuming the Switzer crew can figure out a way to keep the car’s engine from churning the GTR’s gears into a metallic approximation of maple syrup. “Launching these GTRs has always been an issue,” offered Papa Smurf, when I reached out to ask him what he thought of the car after having it a few days. “At this point, I’m thinking we should just say ‘Smurf it.’ and put a Jerico trans. in it with a Ford 9 inch behind that. The GTR guys would lose their Smurf, but Smurf them, eh? I want to Smurf my GTR the way I Smurf my Smurfs: Wide Smurfin’ Open!”We get it, Papa. Wide Smurfin’ open, indeed.
|2000 Horsepower Nissan GT-R from Switzer Performance|
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